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Why are we so scared of lube?

April 28 2022 | Written by Nadia Ladak (She/Her)

Have you ever been super turned on in the moment, only to realize that your vagina seemed to be drier than the Sahara? You were truly enjoying the moment, so why wasn’t your body reacting the way you expected it to?  Well, this is actually quite a common experience and is called “arousal non-concordance”. This is when there is a disconnect between your mind and body. You feel aroused but your body is not reacting with a physical genital response. In these cases, you can turn to our trusty sidekick lube. But why is it that the word lube causes a visceral response for most people? Lubricant can be an incredible tool to reduce friction during sex, when using toys, or even for tampon insertion. So, today we’re going to explore some of the common objections for using lubricant and why you should consider trying it out!

“I should be wet enough without it.”

Shouldn’t your natural lubrication be enough? Not always. Many people think that if a female is turned on, they should be wet enough on their own. However, vaginal dryness during sex is common and can happen for many reasons, such as hormonal changes , the stage of your menstrual cycle, your stress levels, or any medication you may be on. We explore some of the reasons for vaginal dryness in our blog: WAP Part 2: Causes of Vaginal Dryness.

“I can just deal with the discomfort!”

Not enough lubrication during sex can lead to pain & discomfort for both partners. The increased friction may even lead to injury during sex. Increased friction can also lead to micro-tears which can increase your chance of infection. It could also reduce the effectiveness of your contraception. Added friction can lead to increased pressure on a condom making it more likely for it to break or fall off.

“It’ll kill the mood.”

We’re so used to the perfectly scripted love scenes in Hollywood movies. However, this is not always how sex plays out in real life. If you need to stop to put on a condom or to use some lubricant, this won’t kill the mood. In fact, it will probably lead to enhanced pleasure for both partners, which ultimately makes for an even more positive and enjoyable experience!

“It’ll feel slimy 🥴

There are several types of lubricant that have different characteristics. Some even have warming or cooling properties. It is okay to experiment and try a few different types before you find one that works for you. The right one shouldn’t feel slimy and won’t stick around for long after sex is done.

“It’ll burn!”

There are a variety of types of lubes which include warming and cooling properties. These sensations may feel like “burning” at times. If any irritation occurs, it is best to use a lubricant that is fragrance free with natural ingredients. You can learn more about the ingredients in our lubricant on Our Standards page.

“I don’t know what kind to get!”

There are three primary types of lubricant: silicone-based, oil-based, and water-based. Generally it is recommended to use water-based as they are most compatible with condoms and toys and are best suited for sensitive skin. At Marlow, we have a water-based lubricant which can be used with tampons or during intercourse . To learn more about considerations for choosing a lubricant, check out our blog WAP: A Guide to Lubrication.


Sometimes our bodies don’t have enough natural lubrication on our own, and that’s pretty natural! So, there is no need to be ashamed if you would like to use lubricant during sex to enhance the pleasure for both parties. It’ll reduce the friction, feel smoother, and lead to an overall more positive experience for everyone!