What are the causes of a light flow?
While fluctuations in your flow are normal, sometimes a light flow can be the signal that something else is happening. Here are the top reasons why your flow may be light:
We dive deeper into each of these reasons in our blog: 5 Reasons Why Your Flow is Lighter.
For all the light flow girlies, we feel you and that’s why we created marlow! If you still want to use a tampon on a lighter flow, here’s what we recommend.
Use a Light Size Tampon
First of all, light size tampons are extremely hard to find especially in-store. But light size tampons are the smallest size you can find and for those with a light flow, are usually easiest to insert. Our light tampons at marlow are our most popular size. They’re made from 100% organic cotton so that you know exactly what you’re putting into your body. Check out our marlow light tampons.
Use an applicator tampon
Some individuals find using an applicator-style tampon easier, especially one with a rounder tip. The applicator helps to gently guide the tampon into your vagina. Many people don’t like to use applicator tampons for environmentally sustainability reasons but marlow’s 100% organic cotton tampons are actually made with a bio-based material derived from sugarcane so that you can still have the ease of an applicator without sacrificing sustainability!
Try using a lubricant!
If you lack natural lubrication, it may help to use a lubricant to make it easier to insert a tampon. We designed the marlow easy glide tampon lubricant (that can be paired with our light tampons!) for this exact reason. Our bottle is travel friendly and super easy to toss in your bag.
Wrap Up
So if you have a light flow or have recently experienced changes in your flow, and are struggling to use tampons, try using these tips to make your experience smoother.
]]>1. Understand the underlying causes of your vaginismus
It’s important to understand the underlying causes for your vaginismus so that you can best understand how to treat it. If your vaginismus is due to anxiety or trauma, it may be helpful to seek pelvic floor physiotherapy or counselling.
2. Get into a comfortable position and take slow deep breaths
When inserting a tampon, it’s important to get into a comfortable position. One of our favourites is to keep one leg on the floor and one on a raised surface like the toilet or tub. Before inserting, take slow deep breaths to calm your nervous system and try your best to release the tension in your muscles.
3. Insert the tampon at a 45-degree angle towards your lower back
Many times, tampons are uncomfortable to insert because they’re inserted at the wrong angle. It is ideal to insert tampons at a 45 degree angle with the tampon pointed towards your lower back.
4. Start with a light tampon
When switching from pads to tampons, if you don’t already know your flow, it’s best to start with a light tampon. These tampons are smaller and typically easier to insert making it a more comfortable process.
5. Try using a Lubricant!
To make a tampon easier to insert, try using a lubricant! This makes the process a lot smoother as the lubricant helps the tampon glide in. At Marlow, we’ve created an easy glide tampon lubricant designed specifically for tampons. Our bottle has a cross slit valve at the top allowing you to evenly coat your tampon with just one dip. It’s travel size and completely safe to use! Check out why thousands of people have been swapping their period products for our lubricated tampons.
Wrap Up
If you have vaginismus and are looking to try tampons, try following these tips to make your insertion experience a bit smoother.
]]>You’re a pad girl through and through and have been thinking about trying tampons for a while but now you’re finally ready to take the step. So here’s the step-by step guide to make your tampon experience as smooth as possible:
1. Find a comfortable position for insertion.
There are several ways to position yourself when inserting a tampon, so feel free to play around with different seated/standing positions to see what feels most natural to you. Here are a few popular positions:
We’ve also created a step by step guide to inserting a tampon that you can follow.
2. Start with a light size tampon
When switching from pads to tampons, if you don’t already know your flow, it’s best to start with a light tampon. These tampons are smaller and typically easier to insert making it a more comfortable process.
3. Use an applicator style tampon
Some individuals find using an applicator-style tampon easier, especially one with a rounder top. The applicator helps to gently guide the tampon into your vagina. Many people don’t like to use applicator tampons for environmentally sustainability reasons but marlow’s 100% organic cotton tampons are actually made with a bio-based material derived from sugarcane so that you can feel more confident knowing what you’re putting into your body. In this case, you don’t have to sacrifice sustainability for comfort.
4. Try using a lubricant!
To make a tampon easier to insert, try using a lubricant! This makes the process a lot smoother as the lubricant helps the tampon glide in. At Marlow, we’ve created a lubricant designed specifically for tampons. Our bottle has a cross slit valve at the top allowing you to evenly coat your tampon with just one dip. It’s travel size and completely safe to use! Check out why thousands of people have been swapping their period products for our lubricated tampons.
5. Ensure the tampon is deep enough!
A tampon should hardly be noticeable once inserted. After it is inserted, try walking around a bit to test its position. If you can feel the tampon, it may not be inserted deep enough. If it doesn’t feel comfortable, you can try using your fingers to push it up a little further. If that doesn’t work, or if you’re not comfortable using your fingers, consider removing it and re-inserting a new tampon. If you’ve tried a few times and are in any considerable pain or discomfort, stop using tampons and speak to your doctor about what you’re experiencing. You can also check out our blog 5 Reasons Why Your Tampon May Hurt.
Wrap Up
So if you’re looking to make the switch from pads to tampons, make sure to follow these tips for a smoother experience. Marlow’s easy glide lubricated tampons might be a great place to start!]]>While most of us shake our heads at the mention of star signs and ascendants (let’s not even begin to discuss the retrogrades), behind every gimmick TikTok astrology video lies an intricate system of observing astronomical cycles that is dated back to the third millennium BCE. While astrology can predict almost all aspects of life like career, family, love, it can also give some insight into your sexual compatibility, and before you knock it, perhaps give a read to what the experts say.
In Vedic astrology, analysis of where your Venus and Mars placements are can be vital to gaining insights into an individual’s sexual desires, your compatibility with your partner, and even right down to whether you're a major flirt or not.
So while this all might mean a whole lot of Hocus Pocus to you, perhaps it could spice up your love life, or help you to understand your own sexual desires.
Venus and Mars work as a team. Venus attracts what you want and your Mars goes after it.
If your Venus and Mars are fire signs (Aries, Leo and Sagittarius), then you’re all about having fun! They are straightforward in their sexual and emotional expression. The key to maintaining strong sexual chemistry with someone who falls under this category is to keep them entertained, keep them laughing and be spontaneous. Aries tend to favor the chase more than the catch. Leos love a partner who affirms their sexual strengths. Sagittariuses love to show their talents in bed because of their fiery and show-off nature.
If your Venus and Mars are earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn), then you’re on the slower, more sensual side of the spectrum. When it comes to showing love, anyone whose Venus and Mars are earth signs will consider sex to be a basic need of theirs, and love is almost instinctual. Taurus placements have a simple, direct approach to sex, and see it as a natural extension of themselves. Virgos are notoriously known for being planners, so it’s easy to assume that they expect routine in the bedroom as well. Capricorns tend to think outside of the box when it comes to their sex life, and can be counted on to try new things.
If your Venus and Mars are air signs (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius), then you’re definitely slower to show your passion, and might require some more mental stimulation. That’s not to say that air signs are boring lovers, in fact, of all the signs they might be most inclined to experiment. Gemini placements are adventurous and have a tendency to encourage their partners to try new things with them. Libras, being of the most balanced nature of the zodiac, like to keep the scales even, and are very attentive to their partners' needs. Aquarians tend to be more open to modern displays of sensuality, whether it's through sexting or video chatting.
If your Venus and Mars are water signs (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces), then you are very apt at tapping into your lovers’ sexual and emotional needs. As well, these placements are intuitive and make you feel emotionally close to them. Cancers are ruled by the moon and therefore their needs change frequently. Scorpions are obsessed with breaking taboos and never bowing to sexual restrictions. Pisces are one of the most responsive placements, who love to become completely whole with their partner.
]]>Why do I experience stomach pain during my period?
During the second half of the menstrual cycle, your body is producing more progesterone, which is the result of releasing an egg. What happens when your body makes more progesterone?
Well, that’s when things get… messy. Dr. Raquel Dardik at NYU Langone Medical Center explains just what goes on.
The production of progesterone is great news! But when it’s overproduced, progesterone slows down contractions of the bowel, so it slows down how quickly food and gas move. Then there’s the estrogen, which causes water retention, contributing to the bloat. Essentially, everything slows down. Top that with the initial cramping that you get in the first two days and you’re in for a double whammy.
What causes the cramping?
Progesterone levels drop, which speeds up bowel contradictions back up again, so food passes along quicker than normal. Then, there’s the prostaglandins, hormone-like substances that are released by the uterus, which trigger cramps.
There’s two types of cramps: some will give you pain, and some will give you diarrhea.
How can I manage my manage stomach pain on my period?
So, the rollercoaster will inevitably come every month, and if you try to look at things on the bright side, at least you know that your reproductive system is doing its thing! But in the meanwhile, it’s best to take some steps to alleviate the pain and symptoms that come with it.
4 ways to manage stomach pain on your period
Wrap-up
It’s normal to experience bloating, weight gain, and stomach pain when on your period. Try incorporating some of these tips to make your next period a bit easier!
]]>The first time you get your period can be rather scary especially if you weren’t expecting it! When your kid sees blood in their underwear, they may think something is wrong with them. During the monthly menstrual cycle, the uterus lining builds up to prepare for pregnancy. Explain to your child that their period is their body’s way of shedding the monthly buildup of the lining of their uterus.
Nowadays, there are so many different types of period products to try including pads, tampons, period underwear, and menstrual cups. Many people often use a combination of products throughout their cycle as well. There are many factors to consider when choosing a menstrual product including comfort, sustainability, your lifestyle, and more. We actually wrote a blog on the guide to finding the right period product. Consider reading this blog together and discussing the different options available.
Now that you’ve discussed the types of period products, make sure to also show your child how to use them! Show them how to use a pad and how to dispose of it properly. The first time they try to use a tampon may be daunting. Try to show them how to use one in advance so that they aren't caught stressed in a situation trying to figure it out on their own. You can use our step by step guide to inserting a tampon to walk through the process together.
To make your child's first time using a tampon easier, give them a marlow tampon lubricant! This makes it much easier and smoother to use a tampon especially if they experience any nerves or anxiety around using a tampon.
Everyone’s cycle is different and therefore, they may experience different symptoms throughout their monthly cycle. Talk through some of the common symptoms they may experience including acne breakouts, cramps, mood swings, cravings, muscle aches, lack of energy, and bloating.
If your kid is approaching the ages 9-14, they may get their period soon. If you cover these top 5 items prior to them getting their first period, they'll be well prepared for when the time comes!
]]>It’s really important to get into a comfortable position when inserting a tampon. You can have one leg propped up, sitting on the toilet, or have your back slightly bent over. Check out this video for a tutorial! These positions help you relax your vaginal muscles and get comfortable. When it comes to the angle, we recommend pointing the tampon towards your lower back on a slight angle upwards instead of trying to put it straight in. You can use a mirror to explore your vaginal opening and get familiar with your body.
Your tampon may not be going in due to the dryness of the tampons or your vagina. Because menstruation is so stigmatised, we never talk about vaginal dryness but the reality is that 1 in 5 women experience vaginal dryness especially during the late phases of menstruation. A cause of this can be due to hormonal imbalances likely when taking forms of birth control, menopause or approaching menopause. We wrote a whole blog about the causes of vaginal dryness here. If this is the case, we recommend using a lubricant which can make it much smoother and easier to insert a tampon! We designed our tampon and lubricant combo to be used exactly for that! Our lubricant is travel friendly and easy to take on-the-go to dip your tampon into for smoother insertion.
It’s important to try to relax your muscles as much as possible when inserting a tampon. However, you may experience anxiety or have a negative association with penetration and items entering your body. This causes your pelvic muscles to tighten up as a reaction to any type of penetrating object which can make inserting a tampon very difficult. You may also have a condition called vaginismus. Most commonly, this condition develops after an injury or traumatic experience that may or may not involve the vagina. If you are experiencing vaginal tightness, it is best to speak to your gynaecologist or a pelvic physiotherapist to learn more.
There are many reasons why inserting a tampon may be uncomfortable if not painful but do not be embarrassed as this is a common problem for billions of menstruators worldwide! If you experience any extreme pain or discomfort, it is best to seek medical advice.
]]>Research from DPG shows that 74% of women feel it’s necessary to hide sanitary products at work, and 60% stated they’d be uncomfortable discussing the topic of menstruation at all with colleagues or managers. For something that is a natural bodily function for almost half of your workforce, this shouldn’t be the case.
It’s time to break down the stigma surrounding periods and for employers to take action to address menstruation in the workplace. Today, we’re breaking down the three things you can do to be more inclusive of the menstruators in your workplace.
It’s unfortunate that there is still a stigma surrounding menstruation. However, we can begin to change this and as a manager, you can be a part of this change. Talk openly with your team so that you can begin to create an environment and culture where these types of conversations are not only supported but encouraged. Ensure team members feel comfortable to come to you and let you know what they’re experiencing. Offer up the opportunity to work from home or other accommodations if needed. Every period is different and menstruators experience different symptoms!
Similar to how we provide toilet paper, many workplaces are starting to provide menstrual products in the bathroom as well. It’s the worst feeling in the world to get caught empty handed when on your period. This can create anxiety and ultimately result in lost productivity hours. The Canadian government just announced that all federally regulated workplaces will be required to provide menstrual products in their bathrooms. Consider doing the same in your office!
Every menstruator is unique and experiences different severity levels of pain, cramps, or emotional symptoms when on their period. For some menstruators, the pain is so debilitating, it’s hard for them to move and leave their bed. For this reason, many workplaces are introducing 1-2 days of menstrual leave per month. This provides individuals with flexibility to take time off or work remotely when they are experiencing pain or other negative symptoms during their period.
The reality is that a large portion of your workplace will get their period for several days each month. It’s time to start smashing the stigma around these taboo topics and introducing policies that support menstruators in the workplace. If you aren't a manager or decision maker in your workplace, consider sending this blog to someone who is!
]]>What's the difference between vulvar and vaginal dryness? We break it down and share how to treat it.
]]>The vulva refers to external genitalia of the female reproductive system, including the labia majora, labia minora, clitoris, and vaginal opening. When this area is dry, symptoms can include itching, redness, soreness, or a burning sensation.
Some of the most common causes of vulvar dryness include:
If you’re experiencing vulvar dryness, try switching up your soap to one suited for sensitive skin that is unscented. Opt for breathable loose-fit clothing and cotton underwear. You can also use a vulva serum such as the Hydrate Ever After Serum from Sweet Spot Labs that replenishes natural moisture with clean, non-irritating, ingredients including Jojoba, Macadamia Seed, Squalene, and Micro-Hyaluronic Acid.
Unlike vulvar dryness, which affects the external genitalia, vaginal dryness involves a lack of moisture inside the vagina itself. Symptoms of vaginal dryness include pain during intercourse, or a frequent urge to urinate. Vaginal dryness may also impact sexual pleasure, as the lack of lubrication may lead to discomfort and difficulty with penetration.
Most of the time, vaginal dryness is caused by a drop in hormone levels, particularly estrogen. Estrogen helps maintain the vagina’s natural lubrication, thickness and elasticity. A drop in estrogen may be caused by, but not limited to:
For more information, check out our blog on the top 6 causes of vaginal dryness.
If you’re experiencing vaginal dryness, try using a lubricant for added moisture. There are three different types of lubricant: water-based, oil-based, and silicone-based. You can learn about the different types in our guide to lubrication blog. We recommend using a water-based lubricant that is glycerin free like the Marlube as it’s perfect for sensitive skin. You can use it for sexual intercourse or with tampons!
Whether you’re experiencing vulvar or vaginal dryness, there are products designed to help you ease your discomfort. Try checking out the products from Sweet Spot Labs and Marlow for any dryness you experience throughout your monthly cycle.
]]>If you’re experiencing an increased amount of stress at work, in your relationships, or in other aspects of your personal life, this may impact your cycle. Try to identify any stressors that you’re experiencing in your life and see if there are opportunities to manage them.
There are several conditions that may be impacting your hormones and as a result, your menstrual flow. Some of these conditions include polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), hyperthyroidism, or a significant weight gain or loss. If you think you may be experiencing one of these conditions, it is best to consult a medical professional. They’ll typically start by running blood work to see if they can identify signs of any of these conditions.
One of the most common reasons for a lighter flow is going on hormonal birth control. Many doctors actually prescribe it to individuals with a heavy flow for this reason. If you just started taking birth control or got an IUD inserted, it’s common for your flow to become lighter.
Many individuals begin to experience lighter periods as they age and approach menopause. Perimenopause can begin in your late 30s but more commonly it begins from ages 40-44.
While one of the signs of pregnancy is a missed period, some individuals do continue to bleed or get a light period when pregnant. Unusually light periods or spotting may be the sign of an ectopic pregnancy which can be very dangerous. If you think this may be the case, take a pregnancy test and/or consult a medical professional.
So now that we’ve covered the most reasons for a light flow, we’ll cover what you can do to manage a lighter flow!
Tampon size has nothing to do with the size of your vagina. Tampon sizes are actually related to absorbency and the volume/heaviness of your flow. If you have a heavier flow, you will likely use a regular or super size tampon, whereas if you have a lighter flow, you may opt to use a light tampon. Picking the right absorbency can seriously affect your comfort levels!
We wrote a guide to help you decide the right size for your flow.
If your flow is suddenly becoming lighter, consider opting for a light size tampon. At marlow, our tampons come in light, regular, and super absorbencies. They’re made from 100% organic cotton without any added fragrances or dyes.
Your blood acts as a natural lubricant when inserting a tampon. However, if you have a light flow, especially towards the beginning or end of your cycle, you may not have enough natural lubrication which can cause pain or discomfort when inserting a tampon. If you have a light flow, make sure you’re using a light size tampon.
You can also try dipping your tampon in our Marlow lubricant for smoother and more comfortable insertion. The lubricant provides added moisture, making it easier to insert.
In summary, these are the 5 most common reasons for a lighter flow. If you are experiencing a lighter flow, consider trying a light size tampon and dipping it into the marlow lubricant for added comfort. When in doubt, always consult a medical professional for the best advice.
]]>In essence, aftercare is a post-play check-in between partners. The origins of the practice come from the kink community. After certain practices like BDSM and S&M, it’s standard to engage in some form of aftercare to ensure that both parties are emotionally supported after their intimate session. But, lately, the aftercare conversation has expanded beyond BDSM to regular sex as well.
While there aren’t official ‘guidelines’ to aftercare, it’s really between those involved on how they want to engage in it.
The goal of aftercare is to ensure that everyone in the experience feels safe, seen, and of course, comfortable enough to discuss any concerns that may have come up during sex.
There’s also a scientific reason why aftercare might be more necessary than you think. During these experiences, adrenaline, cortisol, and oxytocin levels surge, but immediately after sex, they drop. The feelings that many are left with can range from anxiety, shame, or mixed emotions. The hormonal crash can be a lot to deal with, but having your partner also a part of the discussion can help.
Certified sex therapist Kimberly Atwood differentiates between physical and emotional aftercare:
Some common questions some might have about aftercare are:
From what most experts say, aftercare can constitute offering your partner a glass of water immediately after or checking in a few days later. What works best for you and your partner(s) is most important, and there’s no right or wrong way to do it. It’s crucial to address your needs earlier than later.
A sexual relationship truly isn’t healthy until both parties agree to everything from the beginning to the end of a sexual experience- yes, aftercare is also included in this.
Perhaps open the discussion with the positive things you enjoy about your experience with your partner, but emphasize that you’d like their feedback as well, and this may open the floor to a bit more discourse about aftercare, and what might make the next experience better.
]]>Egg freezing is one of those procedures that I’ve heard of but never really looked into. It seemed to me that celebrities were the most likely to undergo egg freezing. However, the more that I’ve read, the more I’ve come to realize just how many people from different backgrounds are seeking out this procedure. And while our last blog here at Marlow covered the basics of egg freezing, we also asked for feedback from you guys, our readers. And it seems that there is still much to unpack! So, without further ado, let us dive into the nitty gritty of egg freezing. In case you missed our first blog on egg freezing, feel free to take a second and familiarize yourself with what it is prior to reading this blog.
Over the past few years there seems to have been an increasing trend in oocyte cryopreservation – also referred to as egg freezing. Some people have attributed these shifts in attitudes towards egg freezing to be as a result of the pandemic, given the jump in people who have been seeking it out between now and 2020. That being said, while the motives for undergoing egg freezing often vary from person to person, when it is not medically motivated, some common reasons include wanting to be more financially, emotionally, or physically mature prior to choosing to have kids.
For some, egg freezing is viewed as being an act of reclamation over reproductive rights and a person’s control over their bodies. Over time, even certain egg freezing companies have marketed these procedures as “a form of self-care”. And while there is validity to these reasons for egg freezing, medical experts have expressed concern over the true motives behind certain for-profit “boutique” egg freezing companies. For instance, this one article that I came across goes into depth regarding the sometimes problematic lengths that “boutique” egg freezing providers go to in an effort to encourage clients to choose their service. And according to some medical experts, there is skepticism of whether or not clients are properly looked after, medically. In a world where egg freezing is being marketed towards people who are typically having kids later in life, it can be difficult to see some of the potential downsides to egg freezing when it seems overwhelmingly like a win-win scenario. However, hopefully through this blog and your own research, you are able to make an educated and informed decision to go through a procedure like oocyte cryopreservation.
It turns out a lot of our readers (including me) are interested in knowing how oocyte cryopreservation could impact our bodies, whether that means physically and/or mentally. And while I’ve never gone through this process before, it has been interesting to also research whether or not there are impacts on a person’s sexual desire as well as menstruation. Full disclosure, given that I am not a doctor, I’d strongly urge you to speak with a medical professional regarding the impacts of egg freezing. However, these are some common impacts that I’ve read about in my research.
Honestly, it seems hard to say. Overwhelmingly, the research points towards the procedure not being painful as you are placed under anesthesia when they retrieve the eggs. However, there is the preparation ahead of time which involves injecting oneself with hormones, multiple times. In my opinion, the best way to explain the egg freezing process is to liken it to undergoing IVF, minus the transfer. However, according to one perspective that I found whilst researching for this blog, the lingering pain from the procedure was worse than what was initially told to a person who did undergo oocyte cryopreservation. Here is a link to an article that outlines a very powerful firsthand view into egg freezing. In this article, the author, Eleanor Morgan provides an open and honest perspective into their experience with oocyte cryopreservation, after they were determined to be infertile following a ruptured appendix. I found this article to be quite interesting because it also touches on the risks of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS).
What is OHSS you may be asking? Well, I was too! Basically, my understanding is that it happens when ovaries become overstimulated when undergoing the process of oocyte cryopreservation. It can be quite severe, with symptoms such as gastric reflux, shortness of breath and pain. Some experts say it is rare, with it occurring in an estimated 5% of IVF and egg freezing cycles. However, one point to note that I came across is that OHSS can be more common in patients with PCOS as well as younger patients. And given the push for younger people to undergo egg freezing as a step towards their future, there may be more of a risk of encountering OHSS, as Eleanor Morgan also discusses in the article linked above.
Yes, according to some sources it is possible for mood to be affected. Mood swings may be a side effect of egg freezing, due to elevated estrogen levels from stimulated ovaries. Other common symptoms prior to egg retrieval include headaches, hot flashes, and nausea. Post egg retrieval procedure, symptoms that are common to experience include bloating and cramping.
With regards to the impacts of egg freezing on mental health, it is tough to determine the true extent of what it looks like. The mental load of experiencing an increase in mood swings can be a lot, especially while needing to keep up with a strict injection regimen. This is a great article that I found which both outlines the various ways that a person’s mental health can be impacted by egg freezing, as well as provides helpful tips. Ultimately, in my opinion, it comes down to having open and transparent discussions about what oocyte cryopreservation actually looks like, by shining a late on both the great and the not so pleasant aspects to it.
In terms of whether egg freezing impacts a person’s future chances of pregnancy and overall fertility, it doesn’t appear so, according to experts. At one point there were whispers of whether or not egg freezing could be linked to an increased risk of cancer. Due to the medications and added hormones that are used to stimulate the ovaries during the egg freezing process, there has been research done into whether it contributes to both ovarian and breast cancer. However, it should be noted that there is more research that must be done prior to truly drawing that conclusive connection.
The actual number varies by person to person, because it seems that it definitely depends on how successful the retrieval is. On average though, it can be anywhere between 10-20 eggs.
No, in Canada there doesn’t appear to be an expiry on frozen eggs! That being said, this point can differ from country to country so it’s best to do your research for the country that you were hoping to get the procedure done.
Now for the grand finale and most asked question… how much of a dent is this going to put in my wallet!? Well, it can really vary, but the general range in Canada is approximately $10,000 for the egg freezing process. However, you’ll also have to budget around $300 per year to store the eggs and $6000 for an IVF cycle once you’re ready to use them. So, just like that, the costs can quickly add up to $20k+. Keep in mind, it’s common to go through multiple rounds of IVF, so that recurring $6000 fee can really add up. There is unfortunately no national coverage in Canada for this process, however some provinces and even some companies offer partial coverage. For example, Ontario covers one IVF cycle per patient through the Ontario Fertility Program for those under 45 with a OHIP card. In the United States, costs are relatively similar. Lilia, an egg-freezing concierge service based in the US, has a complete cost guide to egg freezing that presents a thoughtful and comprehensive deep dive into the cost of freezing your eggs.
]]>As of 2023, egg freezing has sort of exploded, not only in Google searches, but it has transitioned from an obscure treatment reserved for the ultra rich and those who might need it medically, to an elective option for females who are planning ahead.
Egg freezing, known as oocyte cryopreservation, was developed in the 1980s. It was labeled as an experimental procedure reserved for those with serious medical conditions who wanted to ensure their medical treatment didn’t risk infertility.
In 2012, the experimental label was removed from the procedure, and since then, elective egg freezing has undergone a sort of rebranding as a progressive way to plan for your family, while caring for yourself.
Personally speaking, as a twenty-something who has now crawled down the egg freezing rabbit hole, it sort of seems like a no-brainer as to why so many are choosing to undergo this procedure.
A female’s peak reproductive years are between their teens and late twenties. By age 30, fertility begins to decline, and after 35, the decline only increases.
It got me thinking, the peak years of my reproductive capacity also coincides with the years I’m dedicating to figuring out my life, finishing school, starting a career, and embracing the art of living. It’s difficult to balance all of these things on top of the task of finding a partner to have children with.
More than ever before, we’re delaying having children. In 2016, more babies were born to Canadian women over 35 to women in their early 20s. The Pacific Centre for Reproductive Medicine (PCRM) reported an 180 percent increase in the number of women freezing their eggs
Dr. Caitlin Dunne at PCRM says that the majority of the cases are women who may have been pursuing education or their job, or travel and personal pursuits.”They find themselves in their 30s without a partner or without the immediate prospect of having a baby.”
Easier than you think! Once a doctor has established that you’re a suitable candidate for the process, here’s what it’ll look like:
Despite egg freezing becoming the new norm, it doesn’t mean that the price of it will come cheap.
In Canada, the price is around $10,000 but you’ll also need to factor in the cost of storing your eggs annually, which will be around $300. However, these numbers can vary depending on your clinic. Don’t forget the cost of in vitro fertilization if you decide to use the eggs, which can cost about $6,000.
In the U.S., without insurance, the process can cost anywhere from $10,000 - $20,000. Currently there are 19 states that require insurance companies to supply coverage for infertility treatments. Some insurance companies only cover egg freezing that is deemed medically necessary. For our U.S readers, Mrs. Dow Jones, a.k.a Haley Saks delved into the world of egg freezing and finances and even shared her own story. It’s worth giving a read if you’re interested.
Back in 2015, egg freezing at the age of 37 seemed early, but fast forward to today, there are 25 year olds openly discussing their egg freezing journeys. Thanks to influencers like Shania Bhopa, better known as @wellbyshania, has openly taken her followers through her journey, and even interviewed her fertility specialist. Dr. Meivys Garcia to answer any burning questions people might have.
Dr. Garcia says that the ages 24-34 are great ages to consider the process.
]]>March 8th marks international women’s day, a day dedicated to the promotion of a world free of bias, stereotypes and discrimination. This year’s hashtag is #EmbraceEquity.
Women’s equality has always been at the forefront of this movement, but what about equity? Equity refers to the availability of access to the services and freedoms that are afforded to the sexes. While women have access to healthcare, is the level of care adequate?
In short, no.
Women have never truly been seen in the healthcare system, and their concerns are often dismissed. While many stories that we’re sharing in this article are anecdotal, it paints a very dark picture of what can happen to women who try to seek help for pain disorders and other health issues in a system that simply doesn’t believe them.
Dr. McNally at the Katz Institute for Women’s Health says that it’s no accident that the word ‘hysteria’ originates from the Greek word for ‘uterus’. Still pervasive in the medical community is the belief that when a woman complains of their health, it’s either hormone related or completely in their head.
Alyson McGredor, an emergency medicine professor at the University of South Carolina and author of, “Sex Matters: How Male-Centric Medicine Endangers Women’s Health and What We Can Do About It,” says that there is an inherent bias within the medical system, especially in emergency departments. Women are assumed to be overly emotional and anxious.
Research suggests that women are more sensitive to pain than men, but once again- this is just a suggestion. Women are more likely to express their pain, and this is often viewed as an overreaction rather than reality.
Society has historically been encouraged to accept their doctor’s word as the last word, feeding into the unspoken culture of the ‘medical God complex.’ Now, this isn’t a rally call to ignore your physicians. They are here to help us, but it’s okay to admit that there is a time when their opinion isn’t helpful enough.
Molly Hill made an appointment to get an IUD at a Connecticut Clinic in 2017. She was warned that it would be uncomfortable, but discomfort quickly escalated to horrific pain. Molly recalls shouting at the doctor to stop, but the doctor wouldn’t. Instead they dismissed her and said that the procedure was “almost done.”
Hill describes it as a “full-body, electrifying, knife-stabbing pain.” After the procedure was done, (which one could argue was performed without her consent, after she demanded the doctor to stop), Molly lay sobbing on the table in physical and emotional pain. “It felt violating too…in your core, where you feel the most vulnerable.”
But the problem isn’t just the humiliation, pain and embarrassment. There have been fatal repercussions of the neglect too.
A 2000 study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that women are seven times more likely than men to be misdiagnosed and discharged in the middle of having a heart attack. Medical concepts of most diseases are usually based on understanding of male physiology rather than women’s. Women have different symptoms altogether from men; yet, when they have heart attacks, yet they’re treated the absolute same.
If action is not taken to help women navigate these tricky medical landscapes, the fear and hesitancy to seek help many exacerbate.
Ashnay Hossain, the author of “The Pain Gap: How Sexism and Racism in Healthcare Kill Women,” says that there’s a significant credibility gap, and women are simply not believed about concerns of their own bodies.
If someone has already experienced gaslighting from a medical professional in the past, there’s a high chance they’ll fear going through that experience again- but this can also mean women may start to ignore their symptoms or discredit their own pain.
Jan Madeiros, an Air Force veteran who suffered for years with a diagnosis that wasn’t acknowledged by doctors says, “You start to doubt yourself after so many medical experts tell you there’s nothing wrong with you.”
Marjorie Jenkins, the Dean of the University of South Carolina School of Medicine Greenville, urges women to go against feeling pressured to accept an ‘everything is normal’ non-diagnosis. Unfortunately, the state of healthcare no matter where you live is about as consumer-driven as ever before.
You are the client, and if your provider isn’t giving you the answers you need, don’t be afraid to seek another professional's opinion (or another one after that.) While it might seem like an extreme step, if you have a family or friend who can also attend the appointment to corroborate the story, it’s all the more helpful.
Here’s some things to keep in mind:
In honour of February being a month surrounding love, it got me thinking about the importance of the connections in our lives. Whether it is the connections that are formed between each other as humans or through our relationship with animals and nature, these bonds can often go unseen and / or unrecognized. They may even be taken for granted from time to time, which is totally fair - life gets busy. However, when we have a moment to recognize the connections that we have in our lives, hopefully we can invite in gratitude and appreciation for the unseen positive impacts that they have on us. While love is often portrayed through movies and cinema as needing to be romantic in nature, doing so takes away from the valuable connections that can be formed in non-romantic settings. So, for this week’s Marlow blog, I figured why not explore the significance of forming connections and the impacts that they can have on our lives.
Over on Marlow’s Instagram, this past week we’ve been exploring the 5 different love languages. One aspect that has resonated with me is that a large part of connection is learning how we give / receive love, which relates to knowing our love language. Therefore, I encourage you to take a second to pop over to our Instagram page to learn a bit more!
From a historical and evolutionary standpoint, forming connections and bonds have been understood to be a crucial component of our survival as human beings. Social bonds with one another not only continue to encourage us to work together as a community but also bring us many mental benefits as well. Nowadays, living in 2023, connections can be formed both virtually and / or in person. But that being said, both connections and love can come from many different places, not strictly romantic or sexual sources. For example, my connection with my family dog brings me love and joy. Or my connection with my friends brings me so much more than love too. That being said, let’s now take a closer look into some of the powerful yet potentially invisible benefits that connection brings us.
In a romantic or sexual context, it is often said that connection can make a positive experience more amplified or intimate. With connection can come relaxation and comfortability, two factors that can contribute to having both fun and mutually satisfying sexual experiences. However, in a non-romantic setting, connections impact us in various different ways too. But to understand the benefits of connection, first the impacts of loneliness and social isolation must be examined.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, loneliness can not only impact a person’s mental health but also their physical wellbeing as well. For example, in older adults who are more prone to loneliness, there are higher rates of suicide, depression and anxiety that are experienced. Additionally, social isolation can result in both an increased risk of stroke and heart disease. Therefore, forming connections with the people that surround us have never been more important and crucial for both our mental and physical health.
According to the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA), social connections with one another have many positive effects. Some of these impacts include increasing our ability to balance our emotions, boost self-esteem, increase our ability to feel empathy, decrease depression and anxiety and lastly our immune response / system may improve. So while connections may be taken for granted, the positives associated with them are working in unseen ways within us.
As mentioned previously, forming connections with one another does not solely mean being sexual or romantic in nature. The whole premise surrounding this blog was to hopefully encourage you to examine both the seen and unseen connections in your life that aid you. Whether that be through the connections that we’ve formed with our significant others or our families (including chosen), or even simply our pets and the environment! The benefits gained from connections don’t even necessarily need to be deeply bonded either. You may gain love from practicing yoga or going to a dog park! And while Valentine’s Day has officially passed, identifying, and bringing value to the connections in your life should go beyond just the one day or even the month of February for that matter! Carry your connections and the value that they hold with you everywhere you go.
]]>Valentine's Day, for better or for worse, brings up feelings of appreciation for our existing romantic relationships, (or perhaps brings up feelings of wanting that romantic relationship).
But have you taken stock of the other relationships in your life? In our lexicon we often say, “I’m in a relationship,” when we’ve committed to a partner. But aren’t we always in a relationship? Haven’t we been in relationships since the day we were born? It appears that we’ve placed the romantic relationship at the highest peak of our love hierarchy- and this isn’t always so ideal.
This pressure to achieve a singular, ‘all in one’ relationship costs us the attention we need to place in all of our other relationships. This phenomenon often happens in the honeymoon stages of a relationship, when everything is a flurry of happiness, low expectations and naivety.
But the issue is, can one person really be the centre of your universe? Do they have the capacity to hold such an important role in your life? Most experts say no. Psychotherapist Esther Perel says that when we find our chosen partner, we expect them to offer, “stability, safety, predictability, and dependability. And we want that very same person to supply awe, mystery, adventure, and risk.”
“We want to ‘marry our best friend,’ our confidant on all matters, someone to whom we should be able to tell everything. And, for that matter, they should not only be a stellar co-parent, they should also be a savvy co-decorator, a skilled sous chef, a financial whiz, a motivated jogging partner, and a devilishly funny gossip- depending on what we need that day.”
Let’s look at our relationships like our finances just for a brief second, don’t worry, I’m not about to lecture you about index funds, but hear me out. Why is it that we maintain our finances into a workable portfolio, yet when it comes to our relationships with friends, parents and siblings, we subscribe to passive acceptance? Just hoping that the distances, the gaps and the miscommunications will work themselves out?
Does your relationship portfolio need diversifying? Perhaps you’re not paying enough attention to it. Perel says that as we grow older, we pay less attention to the long term relationships we’ve cultivated, and prioritize just a few- primarily in the pursuit of finding or maintaining romantic relationships.
Professor of social psychology at Northwestern University, Eli Finkel talks about marriage. A lot. While many of us might not be there as yet, his work presents valuable considerations to anyone who is in a long-term relationship, or plans to be in one.
Finkel says the biggest change he’s observed about marriages over the past century is how much more expectation is placed on the other person.
“The main change has been that we’ve added, on top of the expectation that we’re going to love and cherish our spouse, the expectation that our spouse will help us grow, help us become a better version of ourselves, a more authentic version of ourselves,” says Finkel.
But what happens when your primary relationship is hitting a road-block, or there’s a bout of high stress? Who is it that you reach out to when you need help? This is when it’s time to take stock of your relationship portfolio.
Some good questions to ask yourself are:
While she may not be a scientific expert, two-time Oscar winning actress and activist Jane Fonda has lived many lifetimes in her 84 years. Plus, she’s a badass who is really good at articulating her feelings.
Therefore, once in a while, I hold her words to scientific esteem. She recently spoke about friendship on CBS Sunday Morning, and shared some valuable insights.
Fonda says that as she got older, she became more intentional about her friendships. Almost like making a conscious effort to pursue someone we’re sexually or physically attracted to, Fonda suggests we shouldn’t be afraid to pursue people we want to be friends with.
It’s easier than you think. Fonda says you should actively seek out the people you enjoy being around. Don’t be afraid to say, “I’m intentionally wanting to be your friend.” Odds are, it’ll work. When people hear that they’re actively being sought after for meaningful friendship, they stick around.
There’s a reason why the terms best friend and partner are not synonymous with one another. That’s another thing Perel warns against. Never call your spouse your best friend. Why try to merge two special roles into one?
So, back to this relationship portfolio…don’t know where to start? Try mapping out all of the important relationships in your life, be it with your partner, yourself, close friends, co-workers, acquaintances, and of course, family (chosen family included).
Take a close look at what expectations you place on each person. What do you seek out the most when you spend time with them? Why do you confide in them? Are you returning the effort? If you give yourself enough room to evaluate, you might just find some opportunities to shift around some of these expectations, and perhaps improve these relationships.
]]>The first time that I had come across free bleeding, my initial reaction was to feel taken aback and dismissive of the concept. You see, I had been taught (for better or for worse) that my period was something that I had to deal with, once a month, for the foreseeable future. And dealing with it meant pads initially, then graduating to tampons and eventually testing out a menstrual cup. Honestly though, as a kid I remember feeling downright petrified at the idea of bleeding through my clothes in a public place. And I’d be lying if I’d say I’m still not terrified to this day of it happening to me. So, the idea of someone actively choosing to bleed freely?? That’s bananas, 13-year-old me would be screaming.
The more I’ve thought about it though, the more I’ve begun to unpack my own internalized views of menstruation. Being taught that it needs to be hidden and dealt with makes menstruation a taboo topic and pushes it further into the shadows. I believe this is why people get so uncomfortable about the topic of free bleeding in the first place. So, for this week’s blog topic, I figured why not shine a light on a potentially uncomfortable conversation for some, because whether by force or by choice, it is a reality for others.
Free bleeding is pretty self-explanatory. In essence, it means to not actively stop or collect your period, and to simply just let it flow. However, there does seem to be room for interpretation within this. For example, panty liners, pads and tampons are considered not to be free bleeding because it means altering / adding a physical item to your body to adapt to menstruation. Whereas, in contrast, using period underwear would still be considered free bleeding.
While there are no scientifically proven health benefits to free bleeding, there are some advantages. By not using tampons, your risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS) decreases, and some say that free bleeding aids with cramps and general unease during menstruation. That being said, there are also many disadvantages to free bleeding. On the one hand, while some feel that it is empowering and freeing, bleeding freely does mean continuously being aware of your surroundings to make sure that you are a) either sitting on towels, b) using underwear designated for menstruation, and c) possibly needing to run more loads of laundry and deal with an increased number of stains. But free bleeding is potentially a viable option for those who are unable to use menstrual products, whether that be due to health conditions or financial situations.
Truth is, menstrual products can add up in price. For some, these items are considered a necessity, but for others it is a luxury. While I’d love to write a whole other blog on period poverty, in essence it is a very real obstacle that many menstruators face around the world. Free bleeding is the reality when there are no other options because menstruation products are either unaffordable or unattainable. For those who can afford menstruation products but choose to free bleed instead, investing in period underwear may be costly initially but in the long run becomes cheaper than consistently purchasing tampons and pads. Same thing goes for menstruation cups!
With roots in the 1970s, some believe that free bleeding gained its momentum from the Menstrual Activism Movement. Others argue that free bleeding has been around for centuries, ever since menstruators many years ago were improvising their menstruation products. From my research, what really sparked the conversation and caused the most momentum for this movement was when Kiran Gandhi chose to free bleed while running the London Marathon in 2015. Here is an in-depth interview with Gandhi, where she goes into detail regarding the actual race and what made her continue running, despite the possibility of embarrassment.
Free bleeding is viewed as being a movement that stems from wanting to spark conversation surrounding a) period shaming b) accessibility of menstrual products and c) environmental awareness / impacts of one-time use products. However, it’s important to note that not all one-time use menstrual products are bad, and some are more sustainable than others. For example, here at Marlow we value sustainability and have taken steps to ensure our product is above the quality of a conventional menstrual product. (And we hope to keep improving it as much as possible over time!) (And we hope to keep improving it as much as possible over time!)
While there is a lot more that can be said on the topic of free bleeding and accessibility to menstruation products (look out for another blog on period poverty), I hope you’ve learned a thing or two about a movement that has good intentions. On the surface, I believe free bleeding can be misconstrued and many would stop short at the image of a menstruator openly bleeding in public. However, instead of recoiling at the idea and judging, perhaps attempting to understand where it is coming from and what other people’s life circumstances are could create more room for compassion in the world instead of essentially period shaming. I am by no means saying free bleeding is for everyone. And in fact, it is important to state that period blood can carry various viruses, the same way blood from a scrape can too. So knowing when and where to free bleed is of the utmost importance. But, something we can all agree on is if there’s some action towards destigmatizing periods and making menstrual products more accessible, we’re here for it.
]]>Considering the lack of sex education and healthy conversation surrounding natural bodily functions, it comes to no surprise that the many myths of the mysterious vagina are alive and well. Should it look a certain way? Must it smell a certain way? Is there really a way to make it appear more ‘sexy’? Here lies a certain reluctance to address the vagina for what it simply is: anatomy. It’s not a decoration. Its existence isn’t connected to the satisfaction of visual appeal. After all, all body parts come in many shapes, sizes, and colors- so why is there so much concern about the vagina? I mean, to be fair, we do place a lot of attention on other body parts as well, but let’s save that conversation for another day!
Absent in popular depictions of vaginas is reality. Porn is just the start: perfectly manicured vaginas seem to exist for entertainment. Education about the vagina is even more of a desert. In fact, only 13 states require sex education to be ‘medically accurate’. It’s no surprise that many people with vaginas give into myths about it, and oftentimes, most of these myths are just wrong.
But as always, we’re here to help. Here are 5 myths about the vagina.
Probably the most angering misconception about the vagina is that its scent must be reminiscent of a daisy. Well, the truth is that like all genitalia, a scent is individual. Dr. Karen Boyle MD FACS, says that it’s normal for the vagina to have a slight odor, and this odor is dependent on your menstrual cycle and other lifestyle considerations like whether you’ve been sweating a lot, or just had sex.
However, if you realize that your vagina doesn’t smell like its normal self and has an odor you’ve probably never smelt before or is particularly strong, it’s best to make a visit to the gynecologist for an examination. There are distinct causes of abnormal vaginal odors, such as bacterial vaginosis.
The point here really is: the vagina is not predestined to smell like a perfume bottle. It’s an organ.
In the age of rising concerns over visual aesthetics, it makes sense that the hysteria over perfection would cross into the vaginal territory. (I mean, where has it not?) When most people refer to the vagina, they’re often referring to the vulva: the external, visible part of your genitals.
Sorry to break the news, but aesthetics aren’t that crucial for the maintenance of your vagina. Yes, it’s true. The pageantry of the vulva is basically useless. After all, like all other body parts we were born with, the vulva comes in many shapes, colors and sizes. Some people can have a dangly labia, a puffy labia, or even one that’s barely visible.
Thanks to Fleabag, we can (kind of) laugh at the pain that most menstruators experience, but in all honesty, the pain is no joke, and it certainly should not be taken lightly. Pain, in certain cases can be normal, for example during menstruation. However, it’s the extent and duration that might be a sign that something deeper is going on. Yes, some light cramps can be totally normal, but if it's impacting your ability to live your life, it's not something that we should just "put up with."
Mensturators, or people with vaginas often take their pain as a side effect of simply having a vagina. While this can be quite ‘noble’ in thinking, don’t be afraid to check in on that pain, and to seek medical advice when you think it’s abnormal.
We may be built with the organs that can often cause pain, but that doesn’t mean that you should be experiencing pain all the time, especially vaginal pain.
Sadly, many people with vaginas learn far too late that vaginal discharge is healthy! If you fall into the category of people who didn’t learn that ‘cottage cheese panties’ (thanks, Jenny Slater) are completely normal, then we are here to tell you that it is in fact normal. Vaginal discharge is simply a fluid that is released through the vaginal opening and is a signal that your vagina is a well-oiled, self cleaning machine.
Vaginal discharge is a common concern amongst women, and while in the majority of cases it’s normal, some types of discharge can be an indication of a deeper underlying issue. For example, grey discharge could signal a case of Bacterial Vaginosis. Check out the Marlow discharge guide to learn more. And, as always, if you have any concerns, it’s always a good idea to speak to your doctor.
Are we still seriously having this conversation!? It’s 2023, and that means that we’ve got to address the elephant in the hypothetical room. Vaginal penetration is not the key to an orgasm. Though it can be. But most people require some clitoral stimulation. (In fact, there are numerous ways to orgasm that don’t even necessarily include genitalia).
The vagina is a source of pleasure, of pain, and can be a helpful tool to indicate certain changes in health. We use it everyday and yet there lies so much mystery within this body part. So, let’s work on changing that, one conversation at a time.
]]>So your beach vacation is 3 days away, your packing is almost done, and all of a sudden, your period comes! Great timing! You’ve finally mustered up the courage to try a tampon but no matter how hard you try, you just can’t figure out how to get it in and it seems like nothing is working. Here are the top three reasons why you might not be able to get a tampon in:
It’s really important to get into a comfortable position when inserting a tampon. You can have one leg propped up, sitting on the toilet, or have your back slightly bent over. Check out this video for a tutorial! These positions help you relax your vaginal muscles and get comfortable. When it comes to the angle, we recommend pointing the tampon towards your lower back on a slight angle upwards instead of trying to put it in pointing straight up to the sky. You can use a mirror to explore your vaginal opening and get familiar with your body.
If you're sensing some uncomfortable friction upon insertion, dryness may be the culprit. Because menstruation is so stigmatised, we never talk about vaginal dryness but the reality is that 1 in 5 women experience vaginal dryness. A cause of this can be due to hormonal imbalances likely when taking forms of birth control, menopause or approaching menopause. We wrote a whole blog about the causes of vaginal dryness here if you want to read more. You may also experience dryness due to a light flow, either throughout your period or at the beginning or end of your cycle. If either of these are the case, we recommend using a lubricant which can make it much smoother, easier and faster to insert a tampon! We designed our tampon and lubricant to be used exactly for that! Our lubricant is travel friendly and easy for on-the-go use, so you can ensure you never have to insert a dry tampon again.
It’s important to try to relax your muscles as much as possible when inserting a tampon. You can encourage this through breathing practices - try taking deep breaths and slowly inserting the tampon as you breath out. However, sometimes even with breathing practices, you may still experience anxiety or have a negative association with penetration. This can cause your pelvic muscles to tighten up as a reaction to any type of penetrating object which can make inserting a tampon very difficult. This can be a sign of a condition called vaginismus. Most commonly, this condition develops after an injury or traumatic experience that may or may not involve the vagina. If inserting a tampon is painful, it is best to speak to your gynaecologist or a pelvic physiotherapist to learn more. Using lubricant to insert a tampon can be a great option once you're in active treatment for vaginismus and you and your doctor have decided that you're ready to try out tampons!
There are many reasons why inserting a tampon may be uncomfortable if not painful. However, it's no reason to feel embarrassment or shame - this is a common problem for billions of menstruators worldwide! Keep in mind, if you experience any extreme pain or discomfort, it is best to seek medical advice. Here's to comfortable using period products!
]]>Given that the holiday season is upon us, for this week’s blog I felt compelled to write about a relatively light and festive topic while remaining understanding and considerate of the fact that not everyone celebrates Christmas! You see, like many others I grew up with the holiday traditions of both old and new Christmas movies. I’ll never forget this scene in the Grinch where Jim Carrey plucks the mistletoe from Mindy Sterling’s hands and then proceeds to cause complete chaos.
While it’s an awesome movie, this scene really calls in to question what mistletoe truly is and how it has become such a classic holiday staple. Spoiler alert: mistletoe has a longgg history that encompasses both menstruation and fertility. So, without further ado, before you potentially find yourself “under the mistletoe” (thanks Justin) this festive season, let’s take a deeper look into why people love this plant so much.
In nearly every Christmas movie that I’ve seen, mistletoe is usually featured in one way or another. For some, mistletoe represents a cheeky festive decoration! But for others, it is actively avoided at holiday gatherings. You see, mistletoe has been around for years. And I mean hundreds of years! Even though this plant has now become a symbol of love and romance, at one point in time, mistletoe had roots in Norse mythology and was used by Celtic Druids and within ancient Greek remedies. Nowadays, mistletoe can commonly be found in the doorways of homes, unsuspectingly waiting for two people to stand under it.
If you’re like me and enjoy mythology, the fact that mistletoe plays a part within Norse folklore is fascinating. Given how mainstream mistletoe has become, the idea that it has such a diverse history is rather unexpecting. Here is a link that explains how their folklore is related to mistletoe if you’d like to read more.
Important Disclaimer: Do not ingest mistletoe- it is poisonous to humans.
Nowadays, there hasn’t been enough research done to truly grasp the potential medical benefits to mistletoe. That being said, even in small amounts, mistletoe is poisonous to humans due to the fact that it contains toxic amines. However, this did not stop the ancient Greek from using mistletoe as a means to reduce menstruation cramps. Additionally, it was also believed that this plant could cure many other illnesses and forms of disease, including ulcers, poison, and epilepsy through the form of a mistletoe balm. Given the fact that it is toxic to humans, best to stick to merely kissing under it… or avoiding it altogether if that’s your jazz instead!
In the 1st century A.D., Celtic Druids saw mistletoe as being a representation of both fertility and vivacity. Through the consumption of mistletoe, it was presumed that this would enhance fertility given the fact that this plant could both survive and bloom in the dead of winter, while all other things died and decayed. Today, mistletoe is not used as a viable method to increase fertility. Instead, it is regarded as an excuse to steal a smooch!
It appears as if the history of kissing under the mistletoe comes from servants in England who began this tradition, which then made its way to the middle class people as well. The catch was that it was considered bad luck if a man went in for a kiss under the mistletoe and a woman refused. Not the greatest incentive for giving consent but hey. Additionally, given that mistletoe tends to have berries, another tradition was to pull off one berry at a time and one kiss would equal one berry. Sorta like that whole “does he love” or “does he love me not” thing with flower petals.
While the mistletoe that we know today can be fun, it is important to keep in mind that not everyone appreciates unsuspecting kisses. For some, it may be the perfect opportunity for that sneaky first kiss but for others it may just not be the vibe. Regardless of the myths of mistletoe, it is simply just good practice to ask first if it’s okay to smooch someone you don’t know.
Either way, have an amazing holiday season! No matter what you celebrate, I hope it is done with lots of love and laughter, surrounded by people that bring you joy.
]]>Stripping, adult entertainment, exotic dancing. Call it what you will, but these terms are rich with controversy, debate, and decades old dilemmas that pose a real question at the forefront of the profession. Is stripping an act of feminism? Why is it empowering to some, and not to others? Well, let's start by looking at its origns.
The first generation of strippers can be traced to a series of Paleolithic cave paintings in the South of France (no, I’m not making this up). Such paintings date more than 20,000 years ago. But what did these paintings reveal? Stripping cave women? One can only guess.
Archaeologists have uncovered miniature statues of exotic dancers near the Black Sea regions of Bulgaria and Romania that can be dated back to the Neolithic era. During this era, exotic dancing was used as a mechanism to sexually stimulate the mind and soul. Tied into the practices of ancient ritual, it was linked to sparking the favor of goddesses of fertility and increasing crop fertility.
In ancient Greece and Rome, this is when it became crystallized as an art form rather than for the purposes of fertility. Stripping became a form of entertainment, and many of these dances were performed in sacred temples within the empire. Most exotic dancers were chosen based off of their looks and vitality. Notably, Empress Theodora, the wife of Justinian the Great, did a striptease retelling the myth of Lea and the Swan.
Exotic dancing (which doesn’t always mean stripping), became a source of entertainment and commodification. Bellydancers would dance for coins, and they would generate larger crowds which proves the ever growing demand for this form of entertainment,
Fast forward to 18th century Europe, when gentleman’s clubs, Burlesque clubs, private banquets and other secret sex clubs transformed the political economy of stripping. This was essentially the era that would catalyze the market for stripping/exotic dancing as we know it today.
Enhancing its art form, dancers would popularize the use of fans to hide their face, or reveal only their eyes. This was to enhance the mystique of the dancer.
Dance moves like the can-can were created to allow for dancers to lift their legs in unison to reveal their panties (or lack thereof) during performances. The dance originated in France and quickly swept overseas to the United States.
I know, I know, you’ve been wondering where the good ole pole derived from and why it is now an integral prop to our modern day conception of stripping.
The use of poles in routines originated in the early 1920s at the circus. Dancers would make use of the tent pole (because, why not? It's sheer innovation!). They’d swirl and twirl down it, climb up it, and of course, do just about anything to bring in money, cheer and men to the circus.
And with every budding industry comes a slew of rejection and condemnation from religious groups, government bodies and lawmakers. But the truth is that sex sells! It’s a large portion of revenue for some states like Las Vegas and so the naysayers, especially in government, began to quiet down.
For example, lap dancing, (which originated from none other than Montreal Canada), eventually became legalized in the United States in 1999.
Per usual, my interest in strippers and the art of exotic dancing stems from my interest in how pop culture and reality intersect. Are Hollywood depictions really true? Have they damaged or helped the way that we perceive stripping? Two blockbuster movies about stripping come to mind.
Based on a true story, 2019’s Hustlers starring Jennifer Lopez depicts stripping as an opportunity to gain financial independence and overall capital. Lopez’s character, Ramona, appears empowered by it all though, and she doesn’t exhibit much naivety about her decision to be a stripper. But the other characters appear to have no other choice of obtaining fast money.
In 1996’s Striptease starring Demi Moore, her character, Erin, is fighting a legal case to gain custody of her daughter and needs quick money, so she becomes a stripper.
Both of these movies project the crux of the argument that many claim is the reason why stripping isn’t a desired job. It’s a means to an end, and it’s often because women are cornered into it. But here’s a real life example that tramples the Hollywood depiction.
Meredith Kirby is a sex-industry worker who has used her Medium blog to dismantle the profession down to its bare bones: a business transaction. Kirby shares her top business tips with readers including: how to scout clubs for the best possible job, learning to face rejection, learning one’s craft. Kirby detailed that when she decided to become a stripper, she took pole dancing classes, and watched other strippers dance to learn how she’d approach it.
She also says that learning to talk to customers is essential and credits her success to some previous jobs she had in the past that required good customer service skills such as in the restaurant industry and a retirement home.
She doesn’t discredit the fact that it’s a strenuous job that requires thick skin and a positive outlook about oneself.
The ‘stripper’ mystique is also flipped on its head through Kirby’s account. She says it’s like any other freelance job. Some social media strippers are accused of glorifying the profession, purporting it to be an ‘easy’ way of obtaining ‘thousands of dollars’ in one night. Kirby says, “Not every article you write will be read by thousands of people, not every line of code you type will turn into a brilliant app, the shrimp won’t be a hit at every event you cater, and not everyone wants to listen to your mixtape,” and she says the same principles apply to stripping.
But if we’ve learned anything: sex is complicated. Stripping conjures feelings of desire and stimulates feelings that many can’t articulate. It comes to no surprise that we can’t come to a universal consensus on its status in this particular wave of feminism, and whether it passes as empowerment.
Here are some arguments to support the claim that stripping is increasing the objectification of women:
But let me play the devil’s advocate for a minute and suggest that some women enjoy pursuing this act, and they understand that it’s a feature of a job that relies on physical appearances-similar to acting.
Sheila Hageman, a mother of three and former stripper, argues that she will not look back at her past life with regret.
She acknowledges the nuance in today’s definition of feminism. The nuance: there is no definition. Feminism’s only pre-requisite appears to be that whatever act of feminism you choose, it should allow a woman to be an agent of her own agent of change.
]]>Here at Marlow, we’ve chatted a lot about birth control – which is pretty sweet. Whether it be a brief history on birth control, the various options to choose from, or tips on how to speak to your doctor about it, the subject of contraceptives is important and understandably valuable to unpack. However, one key aspect to sexual health that has yet to be touched on (by us, at least) is emergency contraceptives. The truth is, this method of preventing an unwanted pregnancy can carry its fair share of shame and stigma. But, for me, the one thing that I find most valuable when writing these sexual health blogs is the hope that I get from breaking down topics that are frequently hush-hush. The fact is, emergency contraceptives are here to stay - we might as well learn about what they are, how they work, and when to use them efficiently and effectively.
Let’s face it, accidents happen all the time. As uncommon as it may seem, the reality is that condoms can slip or break, we can make a heated in-the-moment decision to not use condoms, birth control can be faulty, and the margin of human error during sex is unfortunately pretty large. And for when pregnancy is just not in the cards for you right now (or ever), Plan B can be a solution for when Plan A goes sideways. Emergency contraceptives, when used properly, can “prevent up to over 95% of pregnancies”. But what does it mean to be used “properly”? Let’s compare and contrast the three primary types of emergency contraceptives found in North America.
In North America, there are primarily three choices to choose from when considering emergency contraceptives. According to Planned Parenthood’s website, these 3 include specific IUDs that can be inserted within 5 days of having unprotected sex, an oral emergency contraceptive referred to as ella which can also be taken within 5 days of unprotected sex, and Plan B, which is considered to only be most effective within 3 days after having unprotected sex. So, let’s break down the key differences and pros and cons between these 3 different choices and the certain circumstances that could impact their relative effectiveness.
How it works: Post unprotected sex, inserting a copper IUD will stop the sperm from moving any further towards an egg. It is also possible that inserting an IUD will stop an egg entirely from “implanting” into the uterus.
Pros:
Cons:
How it works: Ella contains ulipristal acetate, which is used to either prevent or delay the release of an egg from an ovary into the uterus. It is a selective progesterone receptor modulator (blocks progesterone).
Pros:
Cons:
How it works: Levonorgestrel, a derivative of progesterone, is a key component of Plan B. This form of emergency contraceptive works to stop ovulation and prevent fertilization of an already released egg.
Pros:
Cons:
Keep in mind, emergency contraceptives are not effective against an already fertilized and implanted egg. Once pregnant, emergency contraceptives will not cause an abortion therefore they cannot be used as a method to terminate a pregnancy - emergency contraceptives and birth control can only prevent a pregnancy. While emergency contraceptives are tools which can be used as a means to fix an accident, it is best to look into the various methods of birth control if you are consistently sexually active and looking to consistently prevent pregnancy. Some of the misinformation and misunderstanding that we see today surrounding emergency contraceptives comes down to people believing that they are being used as a valid form of birth control. However, with all of the current birth control options to choose from, this is seldom the case.
At the risk of sounding pessimistic, we are truly living in sad and transformative times. Following the overturn of Roe v Wade, the limit to understanding when life is conceived and who gets to decide these things has been cast into the public realm. Anti-abortion advocates have begun calling on certain contraceptives along with abortion as a whole to be criminalized. There is a general misconception within anti-abortion propaganda that if an emergency contraceptive is taken whilst already pregnant then it will harm the pregnancy. However, thus far there is no scientific evidence to back this claim up. Furthermore, Plan B claims that their emergency contraceptive will stop a fertilized egg from attaching to a uterus. However, anti-abortionists believe that based on “moral grounds”, Plan B is stopping the natural process of life to occur, and some definitions of when life is conceived can be pinpointed to the point before an egg becomes fertilized. Therefore, according to anti-abortionists, Plan B and IUDs could be considered “abortifacients”. However, this notion could not be further from the truth, given Plan B and IUDs are essentially trying to prevent needing an abortion in the first place.
Given that there can be shame and stigma associated with emergency contraceptives, now is more important than ever to combat misinformation in the hopes that people feel less embarrassed or ashamed to access resources like Plan B. As I mentioned previously, accidents do happen! It is simply just a reality of life and being sexually active. And, in my opinion, it’s amazing that we have resources like these emergency contraceptives to be able to stay in control of our reproductive rights. So next time you are needing a Plan B to your Plan A, seek out support from people you trust. Ask a friend to come with you to your local pharmacy, and then grab a coffee after – make it a day trip. Emergency contraceptives do not need to be intimidating, especially when so many people have experience using them and they are perfectly safe. And, as always, it is best to seek out the advice of a medical professional. Speaking to your local or family doctor may be the most informative, because more times than not, they are able to tell you the facts as opposed to the fiction.
]]>Why do we link intimacy directly with the ability to orgasm? Maybe it’s the movies, maybe its the abounding pornography that tricks us into thinking that all sexual encounters between people will lead to the big O. Or, maybe, we’ve been socialized to believe that there are very little ways to experience intimacy besides sex and orgasms.
By carrying the limiting belief that intimacy is a limited tunnel it can actually put a strain on couples to achieve a (sometimes) impossible biological result. What if you haven’t figured out what you like yet? Just gave birth and you haven’t healed yet? Have a previous sexual traumatic experience? A pelvic pain disorder that makes sex painful? Erectile dysfunction? Or, even just a bad day?
Does that mean it’s the end of the road for intimacy? Absolutely not. Sensuality and intimacy are on a spectrum and they exist for more reasons than an orgasm. In fact, they’re expressions of love and care for one another and let’s face it, there are plenty of other ways to exercise that.
Think: those afternoons in high school when you’d sneak into the basement and make out for hours, or maybe even touch your partner a little. Outercourse is anything that doesn’t involve the exchange of bodily fluids.
While it may seem silly to ask, why did we trade these pleasurable moments that seemed so fun and could easily make you excited for sex? Why (and when) did we decide that penetration was supposedly the best way to experience intimacy with our partners?
First off, the trade off is practically a no-brainer. The pleasure that comes from outercourse can last for hours, it can be fun and very experimental. On the other hand, the actual pleasure of sex, as in, the orgasm, lasts for seconds…or maybe a minute or so if you’re lucky?
This blog post is by no means an anti-orgasm manifesto. After all, orgasms are great! Here’s an interesting way to boost intimacy while also striving to achieve the orgasm: orgasmic meditation.
Orgasmic meditation might seem like something Gwyneth Paltrow would discuss - and you’d be right. In fact, it was featured on her Sex, Love and Goop Netflix show.
So, if the main idea of meditation is to turn your attention inward and to embrace the present moment through breathing and awareness, then orgasmic meditation aims to use these tools to heighten your sensual system with intimacy and eroticism.
The primary focus of orgasmic meditation is to appreciate “the gentle, pulsing waves of pleasure radiating from your genitals.”
In a traditional sense, “orgasmic meditation focuses on rubbing the upper left quadrant of the clitoris for 5 minutes with a lubricated finger,” according to Dr. Holly Richmond, a somatic psychotherapist and author of Reclaiming Pleasure.
If you need more instruction, the Orgasmic Meditation Institute actually has a wide library of videos (that I’d suggest not watching at work). This video gives a step by step guide for either partner to follow, which includes how to set up your environment and what you’ll need to use to achieve a maximum meditation session.
Sex between partners is barely scratching the surface when it comes to real intimacy. What happens after sex? Do you have clear communication with your partner? Do you know each other well enough to talk about intimate matters?
While silence is a great way to add comfort to a relationship while ensuring everyone has their own personal space, there’s also a certain level of communication that’s needed to ensure both of you are satisfied in the relationship. Thoughtful communication can lead to great breakthroughs.
Remember the feelings on a first date, when you’d talk about intimate, fuzzy things? Skip the day-to-day stuff, try discussing your deep thoughts, hopes and dreams, and even what you enjoy about the intimacy you share. And remember - intimacy begins the second you wake up. It's not just limited to your time in the bedroom.
Also known as ‘happy ending’ massages, these types of massages require a lot more intent, meaning that you hope to turn your partner on by exciting their senses and stimulating them just by touch.
One way to start this is to set the mood, whether it be using candles, lighting, aromatherapy to calm the environment. Oh, and of course, massage oils.
This is a great opportunity for you to find out what body parts are hot spots for your partner. Whether it's the inner thighs, the stomach, behind the ears, this is a great opportunity to play around with these intimate spots and figure out what really turns them on.
As you can see, intimacy isn’t just a ‘road’ to an orgasm. It’s quite literally a language of its own. It’s really up to you and your partner how you choose to be intimate, but the good thing is, there are so many ways to express intimacy.
]]>Disclaimer: This blog will be using gendered language to remain consistent with general literature and studies that currently exist surrounding PMDD.
Many people have grown up hearing and learning about premenstrual syndrome (PMS) and the general symptoms that someone may experience prior to their period. But have you ever heard of premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD)? I personally hadn’t until a few days ago. For something that affects approximately 3%-8% of women who are in their reproductive years, it is a health condition that I surprisingly have heard very little about. Let’s now take the time to educate ourselves on what others may find as a very real reality.
Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) is generally considered to be more intense than premenstrual syndrome (PMS). The first time that I had ever heard of PMDD was through this TikTok video, which I recommend you check out for a first-hand account of what it is like to live with PMDD.
@itsmayanic0le #stitch with @thesocialculture PMDD chats #girlproblems #pmdd #periodproblems ♬ original sound - Maya'Nicole
As this tiktoker explains, her symptoms typically begin a few weeks prior to her period. Generally, symptoms range from being both emotional and physical responses. For example, a symptom that’s considered emotionally driven could include anything from forgetfulness, moodiness and agitation, to paranoia, panic attacks and suicidal thoughts.
Before diving into the physical symptoms of PMDD, we want to emphasize the importance of seeking assistance if you are experiencing thoughts of suicide or self harm. Later in this blog I will touch on certain resources that are available for you to use.
Certain physical symptoms of PMDD could include, but are not limited to:
The key takeaway is just how much PMDD can affect some people, and experts are still attempting to identify what causes it in the first place. According to one study based out of the United States, researchers discovered that PMDD may occur as a result of some women having a different molecular makeup than others. This difference at a molecular level could make some women more susceptible and sensitive to progesterone and estrogen changes within their body, which ultimately results in PMDD. However, there has not been enough research done with regards to PMDD to truly know what causes it.
While I am no doctor or scientist, it is both fascinating as well as liberating to know that emotions can be impacted by biological functions such as hormone changes and regulation. Too often, there is this narrative that women are “overly emotional” or “too sensitive”, when perhaps it literally comes down to our biological and molecular makeup. And also, just to add, emotions are valid, regardless of the root cause.
To preface this part of the blog, if you believe you’re experiencing symptoms of PMDD, I encourage you to speak to a medical professional to discuss potential treatments and approaches to mitigate the effects of it. Treatments typically cover some breadth of these three approaches: therapy, lifestyle changes, and prescription medication. Lifestyle changes such as increasing regular exercise, changes to your diet, or taking targeted supplements can help manage some PMDD symptoms.
Another potential option for treating or managing PMDD is therapy. In particular, searching for a therapist who specializes in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) could be best.
Depending on your personal case, one method of treatment you may discuss with a therapist is the use of antidepressants. Certain types of antidepressants can help by slowing the reuptake of serotonin in your brain. If you’re interested in learning more about serotonin reuptake inhibitors, this article by Harvard Medical provides some insight.
Another possible method to treat or manage PMDD is hormonal birth control pills. Given that PMDD frequently occurs during ovulation, some doctors believe that by stopping ovulation altogether, the people who have been diagnosed with PMDD may see a reduction in symptoms overall. This would be done by skipping the sugar pills that are meant to be taken while on your period, but again, it’s best to speak with your doctor regarding your options.
Overall, I encourage you to explore all avenues if you have found yourself with a PMDD diagnosis and unsure of what to do next or how to seek help.
Why is it that I had never heard of PMDD? I can’t help but think that it has something to do with how menstruation is viewed as a whole. Growing up, I knew that getting my period was inevitable. What I didn’t know was that I would be expected to continue functioning as a human being, whilst menstruating. As someone who does deal with some of the symptoms associated with PMDD, I find it crazy that more people don’t know about it. Unless I’m totally out of the loop – which I’ll admit, is entirely possible. But this has me wondering, is PMDD a secret that fails to be acknowledged?
While this research could be considered on the older side, in 2011 it was published that nearly 90% of women who have PMDD may go undiagnosed. The complexity of PMDD and the lack of knowledge surrounding what it is and how it can be treated tends to point towards the downright dismissal of women’s health and wellness issues. That is the only thing that I can chalk it up to.
@prettybasicofficial Dixie opened up to us about recently being diagnosed with PMDD. we hope that her sharing her experience helps at least one person 💗 new episode is live!!
♬ original sound - Pretty Basic
As promised, to finish this blog in a hopefully positive note, here are some resources to look into if you’re a) wanting to learn more about PMDD or b) looking for support with a diagnosis. Try to remember that you’re genuinely not alone in your experiences and that your thoughts and feelings are valid, not just “you being emotional on your period”. And as always, reach out if you’re struggling. Mental health is important, and (hopefully) researchers will continue to explore the link between hormones and mental health. Collectively, in the meantime, we can all be a little more compassionate and understanding with one another.
Disclaimer: The use of gendered terms is strictly to conform with research. Additionally, this blog post is not a critique of the Catholic religion.
The cultish obsession with a female’s virginity is something that definitely deserves the ick- but despite the modernization of society, why do we still care so much about virginity?
Well, let’s go back in time.
Virginity has closely been linked to social and physical purity. We can credit this idea to 14th century practices of Mariology- the Roman Catholic worship of Virgin Mary. To many, Mary was an incredibly important figure in their universe. The image of the Virgin Mary was bolstered and revered, and more importantly, the expectation fell onto women that they too must be pure. As society celebrated The Virgin Mary’s status, this began to conflate her holiness with her virginity.
So to make matters even worse, as the eras and centuries progressed, sexuality became intertwined with morality. I mean, did we really not have any other units to measure one’s character?
Women were still not considered equal to men, and so an easy way to rank them was to use their virginity as a metric. In N.M Heckel’s book, “Sex, Society and Medieval Women,” the scholar outlines an era back when paternity tests didn’t exist. Men needed assurance that their wives “purity” was still intact, therefore, virginity was truly the only barometer to ensure this. Virginal brides came with higher dowries, were married off to better and wealthier men, and of course, this meant more gifts for the bride's family.
Virginity became a class-based commodification. This also was the birth of the ‘virginity’ test, or a ‘chastity’ test, where a potential bride would be subjected to a physical test to ensure she was still a virgin. Today, such practices, which include testing for the ‘breakage’ of the hymen, are commonly classified as sexual assault, not to mention largely inaccurate. In this blog, we cited a 2019 study from the Reproductive Health Journal that urged clinicians not to rely on the state of the hymen to determine one’s history of sexual intercourse.
This conflation is dangerous for several reasons, but namely, to associate one’s fitness into society based solely on whether they have had sex reduces them to merely a body. It also places them into the category of social commodity that is not only designed to be saved, but also, in need of protection. And if this commodity is not protected, then a woman is deemed less than pure, which is basically an extension of being slut shamed.
So, now you have a society who has stumbled upon this fascinating virgin who miraculously was blessed with a child. This became a cultural breeding ground for paternalistic ideals to infiltrate beyond the medieval times and into the modern world. Yes, females might be acknowledged for more than their child-bearing abilities, but there’s still a large focus on their virginities.
Enter social emblems that basically solidified the relationship between a female’s virginity and her closeness to God. So, events like Purity Balls seem like natural extensions of this ideal.
A Purity Ball is a formal dance and dinner wherein fathers formally pledge to protect the virginity of their unmarried daughters. However, there is a lot of myth about the proliferation of purity balls and whether as many take place as actually reported. In her 2010 book, The Purity Myth, writer Jessica Valenti reported that there were approximately 1,400 purity balls held in 2006. But, this figure was taken from the National Abstinence Clearinghouse (NAC), based out of South Dakota- which makes you wonder the validity of this figure, and the motivations behind this organization. Moreover, when reached by telephone, the President of the NAC was rather vague with her numbers.
The case for mainstream pornography is that it has peddled the image of a sexy virgin trope. Most porn websites have virgin categories (some may or may not be legal), and this is a dangerous propagation of the very definition of what it is to be a virgin. The “sexy” women featured in these videos are supposed to be “girls”. This is a tricky two sided coin and it illustrates a dangerous dichotomy of sexuality. Quite literally, people fantasize about seeing a virgin have sex, and then they can simply
Kevin Winter/Getty Images
Pop culture is also a troubling source of pressure to keep its starlets ‘pure.’ In fact, there’s entire articles dedicated to naming and ranking celebrities who waited until marriage to have sex.
One example is Jessica Simpson, who was a 2000s it-girl and poster child for being one of America’s sweethearts received a purity ring from her father at 12 years old. She famously spoke out multiple times about remaining a virgin until marriage. In her Newlyweds interview, Simpson said her decision to remain a virgin until marriage (to Nick Lachey), is the thing that makes her most proud. Slow clap, anyone?
The crux of the issue isn’t Simpson’s decision, but it’s the mere publication of it, and the apparent fascination and fetishization surrounding her virginity. Why is a celebrity's virginity anyone’s business? More so, why wasn’t anyone equally as concerned about Nick Lachey’s virginity? The harm stems from Hollywood’s obsession with exposing us to women who exemplify the desire of the male gaze, while simultaneously glamorizing their virginity. The dichotomy is a whiplash for the average young girl to understand - what message are they really trying to send?
Reuters/ Lucas Jackson
Then there’s the case of American olympian Lolo Jones who for better or for worse became vocal about her decision to wait until marriage to have sex. In 2012, Jones was interviewed on Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel when she said that she was waiting until marriage to lose her virginity. At the time of making the statement, Jones was 30 years old and this sparked a media frenzy of skeptics and critics who laughed at Jones’ decision.
Once again, Jones has every right to discuss this- but at what point did society turn wherein women felt compelled to have to disclose this information? What avenues must be taken to leave this fetishization behind once and for all?
For a society that seems grounded in puritanical order, there also lies the argument that the pressure to lose one’s virginity almost competes at the same pace as our fascination with praising those who maintain their virginity.
If you’ve grown up in the information era, this pressure is only exacerbated. Teens and young adults are raised under the limelight of a hierarchical order that invisibly dictates when they believe they should have sex. This hierarchical order also exists for adults. It’s almost like a rite of passage that coincides with certain ages. Conversations with my friends were often to the tune of, “By ___ years old, you should have your first kiss. Then, by ___, you should have sex.”
The double edged sword lies in the dichotomy between being a “prude”, or being a “slut”. But in what grey area can females emancipate themselves from this tiresome cycle?
Perhaps David G Berger said it best in his journal article, “The Ideology of Virginity.”
“If the sole value of females and/or their function in society is an exclusively sexual one (as a “sex object), then women’s control over their own sexual behavior provides the only possible control over their own destinies and their only source of power.”
]]>Let’s face it, the first time you try to use a tampon can be quite scary and uncomfortable. For many, it’s your first time learning more about your reproductive parts and understanding how they work. Once you get comfortable and understand how to use them safely, tampons can be amazing as they open up the door to so many new activities, such as swimming. Tampons are barely noticeable when inserted correctly, which allows you to go about your daily activities without much interference while on your period.
It may take some practice to put in a tampon for the first time. So, try to do it when you are not in a rush and have time to experiment. For example, maybe you’re on your period, it’s a Sunday, and you’re chilling at home all day watching movies in bed. (Brb, dreaming of a lazy Sunday…) Whether you’re putting in a tampon for the first time or you’re a parent helping your child use one for the first time, we’ve rounded up some of our favourite tips and tricks to make your first time inserting a tampon as smooth as possible.
If you’re new to using a tampon, you may need some help locating your vagina to see where your tampon will go in. We recommend using a hand-held mirror to help you during this process. We’ve also created a step by step guide to inserting a tampon that you can follow as well as an easy guide to your reproductive anatomy to understand what’s going on down there.
There are several different sizes of tampons depending on your flow. We actually wrote a blog about it: Tampons have sizes?. When you’re first starting to use a tampon, it is a good idea to start with a light size tampon, the most slender-size of tampons, which may make insertion less daunting. After 4 hours, if the tampon is fully saturated with blood, you can move up to a regular size tampon.
Why is this so important? Figuring out the best size tampon for your flow will help you 1) reduce your risk of contracting Toxic Shock Syndrome, 2) reduce your risk of any leakage, 3) prevent the oh-so-uncomfortable removal of a dry tampon. Basically, the correct tampon size = maximum safety & comfort!
Some individuals find using an applicator-style tampon easier, especially one with a rounder top. The applicator helps to gently guide the tampon into your vagina and minimises the chance of getting any blood on your hands and thus your clothes.
Note: if you prefer tampons without an applicator, that’s totally fine! Use what fits your needs best.
To make a tampon easier to insert, try using a lubricant! This makes the process a lot smoother as the lubricant helps the tampon glide in. At Marlow, we’ve created a lubricant designed specifically for tampons. Our bottle has a cross slit valve at the top allowing you to evenly coat your tampon with just one dip. It’s travel size and completely safe to use!
A tampon should hardly be noticeable once inserted. After it is inserted, try walking around a bit to test its position. If you can feel the tampon, it may not be inserted deep enough. If it doesn’t feel comfortable, you can try using your fingers to push it up a little further. If that doesn’t work, or if you’re not comfortable using your fingers, consider removing it and re-inserting a new tampon. If you’ve tried a few times and are in any considerable pain or discomfort, stop using tampons and speak to your doctor about what you’re experiencing. You can also check out our blog 5 Reasons Why Your Tampon May Hurt.
With these tips, we hope that your first time using a tampon is as smooth as possible. For more tips on all things periods, check out our blog: The Ultimate Guide to Your First Period.
]]>Note: Marlow tampons do not contain titanium dioxide. For more information on our ingredients, check out our product pages.
So, you’ve read the title of this week’s blog and you’re thinking to yourself - what on earth is titanium dioxide? And what does it have to do with menstruation and sexual health? Don’t worry, I was wondering the same thing too. You see, prior to writing this blog, I had never heard of titanium dioxide either. And yet, it is found and used in products that are all around us! From toothpaste to select food items, titanium dioxide is used as an additive to enhance the whiteness of a product. Most surprisingly, titanium dioxide has been found to be in tampons that are made by a popular brand known as This is L. Incorporation. Their tampons have now gone viral – and it’s not the good kind of viral either. Together, let’s take a closer look at titanium dioxide to tease apart the good, the bad, and everything in between.
Titanium dioxide, also referred to as Ti02, is a colour additive used in a variety of different products. As mentioned earlier, Ti02 can commonly be found in products such as sunscreen, skittles, paint, paper, and more. One form that Ti02 can take on is in white powder. This powder is then added to many items to enhance its white pigment and opacity. And yes, titanium dioxide is used in select tampons too.
In early August 2022, titanium dioxide became a hot topic following multiple TikTok videos that went viral. In one video, a woman discusses her use of the L. brand tampons and how she believes the titanium dioxide inside of them had caused her to have numerous health concerns, such as excessive bleeding, ovarian cysts and more. L. Brand has since responded to the accusations, stating that the tampons contain around 0.1% of titanium dioxide and it is within the string portion, not the part that gets inserted. They, along with many other scientists and experts claim that titanium dioxide is safe for humans which is why it is approved for use within the United States. However, it is interesting to note that the European Union has since decided that titanium dioxide is not safe to be used in products and therefore has discontinued the use of it. The European Union banned titanium dioxide as a food additive specifically, stating that they “could not exclude genotoxicity (AKA genetic damage) concerns after consumption of titanium dioxide particles. After oral ingestion, the absorption of titanium dioxide particles is low, however they can accumulate in the body.” I believe this points to the bigger picture that there needs to be more research and consistency of decisions being made surrounding what we put into our bodies.
Given the fact that menstruation products, such as pads and tampons, are considered essential, ensuring that they don’t cause health issues is crucial. By not having cohesion or a united front regarding titanium dioxide, it only allows for more room to interpret whether or not it is safe to be used. Until there is more research done regarding the use of titanium dioxide, it is normal to be apprehensive regarding whether or not you can trust it. As of right now though, there are no studies stating titanium dioxide causes reproductive cancers. While this has the potential to change as more research is conducted, my advice is to just proceed with caution.
Along with a greater need for research surrounding the long-term effects of titanium dioxide, menstruators must also make conscious decisions surrounding what they put into their bodies. For example, there is the long-standing debate of organic vs non-organic tampons and whether one is better than the other. Or tampons versus menstrual cups. These are both examples that garner support on both sides, but ultimately it is up to the consumer to choose their preference. Until more studies are conducted that research these topics, just make the best educated decision that you can.
The truth is, the risk associated with titanium dioxide is affected by how you consume it. While there’s evidence that titanium dioxide in the air can irritate the eyes, nose, and throat, and some studies have suggested a link to lung cancer when inhaled, there’s not a lot of research on it when consumed in other formats.
Right now, there are no studies that actually link titanium dioxide to the risk of ovarian cancer, miscarriages, or UTIs. However, no studies have assessed titanium dioxide’s impact when exposed vaginally.
All of this being said, the bottom line is that the emphasis is on doing our own research and coming to our own conclusions regarding not only titanium dioxide but also things like organic versus non-organic menstruation products. If you’d like to learn more about titanium dioxide, I found this great resource.
Either way, there will always be arguments for either side, but it is what works best for you at the end of the day. Bear in mind as well that there can frequently be a certain level of fear mongering associated with different menstruation products. For example, I hate to break it to you but TikTok is not a reputable source for factual information. Take what you read and see with a grain of salt and then do your own research too. After the TikTok video went viral, more and more menstruators were leaving comments regarding their own stories of how the L. tampon brand had affected them. While their experiences may be 100% valid and correlated with using these products, it can also instil fear and distrust of certain menstruation products when it may not be accurate to begin with.
In this day and age when there are many different period products to choose from, don’t be afraid to try different ones. But don’t forget to read the ingredients first and do some personal research as well. Knowledge is power!
]]>Famous for representing the most sinful values, Las Vegas symbolizes money, recklessness, fast days, long nights and of course, lots of sex. It comes as no surprise that Las Vegas consistently ranks as the number one city in America for sex tourism, amongst other questionable accomplishments (yes, it’s consistently crowned one of the top American cities where the most infidelity takes place.)
But how did it Las Vegas become the global destination for all things sex and excess? This blog is a quick history of how Las Vegas became the global landmark for sex and pleasure, and what this means for consent in sex work.
Las Vegas, Nevada wasn’t always Elvis impersonators, Britney Spears residencies and strip clubs. Surprisingly, the first permanent settlement was built by a group of Mormon missionaries in 1855 after Nevada was claimed as U.S territory.
As water pipes developed throughout the town, Las Vegas became a major hub for wagon travellers.
Fast forward to 1931, gambling became legal in Las Vegas, as it became apparent that gambling was a great way to generate profits for local businesses.
During the post war years, financing for major hotels and casinos were in full swing thanks to the mafia and infamous mobsters like Jimmy Hoffa and Bugsy Siegel. The premature birth of the Las Vegas residency started during this era as well when famous singers like Frank Sinatra and Liberace began performing there in limited settings.
The sprawl of Sin City continued from the 70s well until the early 2000s, with the rise of the ‘megaresort’ era, which gave birth to the famous strip as it’s known today, with hotels like the MGM Grand, Luxor, Bellagio and Planet Hollywood.
But the big boom also coincided with the state of Nevada’s legalization of prostitution in 1971. But this doesn’t mean that every county in Nevada permits sex work. Currently, only 10 counties in the state do so. Also, prostitution and sex work can only occur in a licensed house of prostitution.
It’s safe to say that wherever there’s money being tossed around, there’s probably even more avenues for sex and sex work. Las Vegas’ rise to become one of the biggest sex capitals in the world was practically inevitable, and even though the state of Nevada has tried to monopolize on the ‘whatever happens heres stays here’ motto by regulating brothels and prostitution, more money is spent every year on illegal prostitution than on regulated brothels.
While fees and costs vary depending on the house, workers keep half their earnings and the house keeps the rest. But workers pay for transportation, food, and other costs within the brothel operations.
Also, workers must also pay for weekly STD tests and sex worker registration cards, and this price varies by country. In Nye County, workers are charged $150 each quarter for registration, plus another $150 annually. As of 2018, there were 97 workers registered in the county for the second quarter.
To give you an idea of the brothel scene, let’s look at the Famous Mustang Ranch. When prostitution was legalized in Nevada in 1971, the Mustang Ranch opened its doors as the first brothel in the state. It was spread out over 166 acres and undoubtedly became the most profitable brothel in the state. Today, it remains a multi-million dollar enterprise.
Of course, I had to Google this place and lo and behold, it’s labeled as a ‘resort’ on Google, (I guess brothels aren’t SEO labels as yet?). Almost innocent upon first glance, The Mustang Ranch Lounge doubles as a restaurant, and offers some appetizing photos of its food options. But tucked away on its site menu is the “Brothel” option.
Jokes aside, the Brothel side of the website is all black and definitely seems more appropriate. It even features a ‘Pleasure Menu’- which includes some interesting items like:
While the debate about whether legalized sex work helps or hurts the autonomy of the worker is beyond the scope of this blog, but what we’ll discuss is what sex workers have to say for themselves.
Most do not want to be casted as victims, and consider themselves on the frontlines of a consent war.
Chanelle Gallant, a strategist and speaker on the rights of sex workers says that the idea of consent is a unique and collective responsibility. But what does this mean exactly? Take it from Reese Piper, a sex worker and journalist who has learned how to avoid situations with people who will violate her.
While not every sex worker has a sixth sense for nefarious clients, it’s also a part of the job to detect dangerous customers, and to invest in clients who will value the labour of sexual relations. This goes back to Gallant’s point- that sex workers sort of have a joined responsibility to empower one another to exercise consent.
This means working together to exchange information about bad customers, workplaces or managers. This could also extend to collaborating to improve workplace conditions, Gallant says.
One sex worker interviewed for the Washington Post says that sex work is a lesson in differentiating between ‘yes’ and ‘no’. Words that in this type of business get easily misunderstood because of the physical aspect of sex.
She says:
“I can say ‘yes’ to a blowjob, then say ‘no’ to intercourse’...saying ‘yes’ to one sexual act is saying yes to that particular sexual act and nothing more. Sex workers navigate these waters all day, every day.”
Ruby Rae, who works at a well-known house in Las Vegas, says, “In the brothels, we have the choice, always, to say which clients we will say yes and no to.”
While whatever happens in Vegas may stay in Vegas, there is a complicated machinery of sex enterprises and sex workers who make the dream of excess and fun all possible. It’s strange to think that a town practically built by Mormon missionaries has evolved into a place where you can watch a ‘shower show’, and order sex off a restaurant-like menu. I suppose it’s a testament to the culture of possibilities and unwavering fantasy that Las Vegas represents.
]]>Have you ever gotten into the shower or a bath on your period and were surprised to see that it seemed like your period had stopped? You had a temporary moment of relief, only to have the blood appear again moments after stepping out of your steamy bliss. Although it sometimes may seem like it, your period actually (and unfortunately) doesn’t stop in water! This is why it is very important to still have protection while heading for a swim on your period. Whether you’re curious about leakage protection, whether you can get UTI from sitting in a wet bathing suit, and more, this is your ultimate guide to vaginal health & swimming!
Although it may feel like your period has stopped, you still have a period while you’re underwater. That's because the pressure of the water can slow down the outflow of blood. In fact, if you have a light period, this pressure might be enough to even counteract the flow of blood leaving your body. That being said, as soon as you step out your period will start flowing like normal again. This is why it’s important to still have some type of protection to avoid any leakage and discomfort!
When going swimming, internal products like a tampon or menstrual cup are the most effective & practical options. Pads and liners are not designed to be used in water and will just absorb the water around you, meaning they’ll fill up with liquid before absorbing any blood like they’re supposed to. If using internal products is difficult for you, try using a lubricant to make insertion easier. We designed our Marlow tampon lubricant with this in mind. We wanted to make sure that no menstruator is held back from doing the things they love because of their period. If you prefer to not use internal products, there’s also the option of using period swimwear which is designed with built in leakage protection.
UTIs are caused when bacteria gets into the bladder. Though bacteria is present in bodies all the time, individuals may do things that increase the chance of bacteria migrating into the bladder. Yeast and bacteria thrive in moist and dark environments such as wet bathing suits. So, while sitting in a wet bathing suit does not directly cause an infection, it isn’t great for your vaginal health as it may increase the spread of bacteria. Therefore, it is best to change soon after you’re done swimming to avoid your chance of developing an infection.
Low intensity exercise like swimming has been proven to provide relief of menstrual cramps. During exercise, your body releases endorphins which can act as a natural pain killer and improve your wellbeing.
If you want to go swimming on your period, ensure you have appropriate leakage protection, whether that’s cups, lubricated tampons, or period swimwear. The best part? You may get to enjoy temporary relief of some menstrual cramps, plus you get some endorphins! After swimming, ensure to change shortly after to reduce your risk of developing an infection.
]]>I, like so many others, absolutely love the show Friends. While, admittedly, the show does have its flaws, for me it will always hold a special place in my heart. And when I think of erogenous zones, I think of that one scene in Friends where Monica is explaining to Chandler the 7 different types. Here is a link if you’d like a refresher or even just a good laugh!
You see, erogenous zones can hold the secret to satisfying sex. And in fact, there are nearly 30 different zones across our bodies that are unique to everyone. One erogenous zone may be amazing for one person, but it may be a flop for the next. That’s what makes erogenous zones so cool, because it’s about learning what makes our bodies feel the most pleasurable in order to achieve the best sexual satisfaction. So today, let’s take a moment to give erogenous zones the spotlight that they deserve! And maybe you’ll also learn a thing or two about the multiple different zone locations too.
Well according to Monica, there are 7 erogenous zones across our bodies. Starting from the head and making our way to our feet, these zones include:
Generally, erogenous zones are considered to be where major nerve endings are located and ever since the episode of Friends aired back in 1997, there have been many more erogenous zones discovered. In fact, as I mentioned earlier, there are nearly 30 different areas across our bodies that could be considered an erogenous zone now. It is important to note that there are some zones that are specific to those who have vulva’s and to those who have penises.
For example, common erogenous zones for those who have vulvas could include:
And for people who have penises, their erogenous zones surrounding their genitals could include:
What makes erogenous zones so fun and interesting is their uniqueness to every person because no two bodies are the same. Besides the obvious spots for erogenous zones, there are quite a few surprising locations too. Let’s take some time now to dive into the various different spots that erogenous zones could be located!
So once again, starting from the top and making our way down the body, here is a list of those not so obvious (but still great) hot spots.
When it comes to discovering and catering towards erogenous zones, there can be many unique approaches to stimulating them. For example, a simple vibrator could do the trick. But the point of exploration and understanding our bodies is to also dive into different sensations too. Whether that be using feathers to tickle our toes or ice cubes on our abdomens, there are many different ways to stimulate and unlock new erogenous zones. This article here does a great job of going into depth regarding each of the erogenous zones outlined in this blog. The author also provides great suggestions on how to stimulate the different zones, either by yourself or with a partner.
I think it is also important to note that by discovering our erogenous zones and by making it fun and carefree, it can take the pressure away (no pun intended) from hyper fixating on genitals and orgasming during sexual activity. I came across this article which touches on various ways to explore our bodies with the goal of stimulating erogenous zones. And the more we learn about erogenous zones, the better the pleasure can be.]]>